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mslim-
♥ Sep 22, 2010

recently i felt so lost and confused and no doubt baby was suffering. i used to share everything with him but recently its seems like i only kept everything to myself and simply expecting to know bout everything, hw i feel, wad i m thinking etc. and we kept having arguement over this. i kept complaining that he's not there when i needed him.. but its that i m just too selfish..
today i decided to go for some "thinking" time myself. didnt go home for dinner eventhough i told mum i wanted dinner. but simply dun feel like gg hm becos we had another arguement. hence, after work i travel to wcp myself.. walked arnd for bout an hour.. finally settle myself down at park2 cos i knew park1 will definately be crowded and crowd was the least i needed. i kept asking myself wad do i really want? wad do i really need? is he the one i wanna spend my life with? has he done enough for me. den i stopped. cos i realised, i will never be satisfied. becos after all that he has done for me, i only keep expecting more from him. i will never stop asking for more.
finally some sense came knocking on e door, i asked myself, what has he done wrong? to keep getting all these shit from me. and at that point, i knew. i did not face reality. i only kept increasing my expectations! and i had e urgue to call him up but i didnt have the courage. i dunnoe wad to say to him. and fate played its part. i turned around, saw someone so familliar walking towards me. then he sat down. he told me , we needed a heart to heart talk. and we did. over this past wk, i've hurt him so much. i felt terrible. i told him i couldnt find mysself.. so lost.. so unsure.. n i apologised for every word i've said.
i really hope that its sunshine after rain. i really hope that i can open up to him like i used too. really wish for things to work out well. i can only pray for the best nw.

♥ posted
9/22/2010 09:00:00 PM